DORK!!

Did you know that dork actually means whale penis? I did, I know my penises very well.... wait what? Anyway, then new leather crazy is here, it topples fancy Italian leather.... yes you guessed it! Whale penis leather!!! The new $1.6 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armored car come fully loaded with whale penis leather, stereo, and some illegal immigrants to do your yard work. Ok fine, I lied about the last one, only one illegal immigrant, you can pay extra for more.

"The leather is not the only tacky accessory on the Prombron, which Dartz claims is the world's most expensive SUV.

The bulletproof windows are gold-plated, the exhaust is made of tungsten, the gauges are encrusted with diamonds and rubies and the exterior has a Kevlar coating.

The car also comes with three bottles of the world's most expensive Vodka, RussoBaltique, although the website does warn prospective buyers not to drink and drive.

Dartz's armoured vehicles weigh roughly 4 tonnes, are powered by V8s putting out between 300kW and 400kW and are 'rocket grenade-proof' according to the website.

For those wondering just how may whales may need to be harvested to outfit the special edition, the answer is not many. The penis of the Blue Whale, for example, can grow up to 2.4 metres."

That's almost 8 feet long! Second biggest penis in the world, I have the first.

The Sydney Morning Herald