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    4:00 PM

    A letter to my neighbors upstairs

    Ladies,

    OMFG will you heifers PLZ die? I can hear every footstep you take, especially the ones where you're thundering down to the kitchen screaming for cake (unless it's cake that looks like a steak, then I forgive you. But only if you share some with me). It's not necessary to walk with such force in each leg. It's like you hate your floorboards. SRSLY. I would go upstairs and tell you, but I'm a big hairy pussy so I have to hide behind the internets. :(

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